Okay, it’s time for me to hit the road again,,,
Kathryn and I will be meeting again in Aruba this weekend.
She’ll travel about 2500-3000 miles by plane and it’ll take her about 10 hours in connections and travel time for that.
I’ll be traveling about 300 miles by land and plane… and that means it will take me 36 hours…
Why this astonishing difference?
Well, my first five or six hours will be wasted on walking out of the secluded housing development where I live and having to wait in queue for a bus (it’s Friday, so it will be Helltime to catch one). Then another two hours dealing with a subway system that’s more densely packed than the Tokyo subway in winter time. Then another two hours getting to the airport… by bus.
There, I’ll have to wait 12 hours (to say the least) for the check-in desk of Imbecile Air to open (it does at 3 AM in what is known as one of the most dangerous airports in the Western hemisphere). There’s no seats outside the waiting área, so my sweet firm ass will be sitting on a cold tiled floor for most part of these 12 hours. And due to the high crime rate, there won’t be a single cafetería open where I can alternate between the floor and a hard plastic seat in front of a cup of coffee.
(Note to travelers: don’t drink the coffee if you ever come to my home country… It’s just boiled dirty water).
Why does this happen?
Mainly due to the Pecking Order (go peruse your favorite Fakypedia to check this; I’ll wait).
In every society there is an invisible Pecking Order… Chicken A pecks on all the B-ranked chickens (i.e. top guy with all the money and all the political/economic connections… the B-chicks his employees/underlings/lower-ranked friends or acquaintances). The B-chicks NEVER peck on Chicken A, but they get to peck on Chicken C, D, E and so on down this crazy alphabet soup until we reach the poor little chick that everyone pecks on but who never has a chance to peck on anybody.
Considering that I’m a white dude who lives in a rainforest, scrounges aluminum cans to eke out a living and has published at least a dozen books that no one cares to read…
Well, I guess that makes me Chicken-Z.
Gosh, I want to be able to peck on someone… at least ONCE in this lifetime…
See you in Aruba, Kitty… I’m oficially incomunicado from now on…