Life in The Jungle: Crossed Wires

Edwin StarkFor some time now, I’ve been exchanging several messages with a certain female writer for professional reasons.

She has openly admitted that she had been flirting with me online, but my lack of response seems to baffle her.

During the course of our multiple messages exchange, she sent me several winks, hugs and little heart things. After a while, she even complained a bit about my failure to notice her little online advances.

Well, I certainly noticed. She’s a very smart woman, quite pretty and talented. I find her very attractive and I would really need to be dead as a nail as not to notice.

The issue here is that the last time I played this particular game I got myself in a very nasty mess and ended with a broken heart. You see, after so many years of rejection, I’m unused to the task of trying to interpret the signals that any female may be sending my way.

I usually botch the job, you know.

Since I always misinterpret all those little, silly signals, I prefer to be told in simple words what is wanted from me… something no sane human female would ever do. Oh, God… I just wished life were a little more simple, without all these silly social games.

It’s just I’m socially dumb when it comes to these matters.

I guess that even if a woman ever decided to dance naked in front of me (with a sign hung to her neck which read: “I want to screw Edwin Stark’s brains out!”), I’d probably misinterpret her intent and believe she’s more interested in trying to sell me life insurance.

(Which happened to me one time, proving once more that life is weirder than fiction).

So, for the sake of our professional friendship, I’ve chosen to fail to react.

I just hope that I have chosen correctly this time. It would be a real shame if it were otherwise.

Edwin Stark

Signing Off

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , | 2 Comments

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2 thoughts on “Life in The Jungle: Crossed Wires

  1. Nope, I really meant it. So glad it worked out.

  2. And now, all these years later, I still want to 😉

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