And it’s just Wednesday, dammit… great way to start a week…
It actually started on January 31st, when I got an e-mail from Draft2Digital (the guys I was planning to publish most of my books from now on). The e-mail stated that Aunt Ammy had found their Kindle Direct Publishing (KDP) account in contravention of Ammy’s Term of Service contract, Guidelines or whatever. Not much clarity here; nothing I could do on this anyway, so it’s best not to fret on this part.
The thing is three of my books were abruptly delisted yesterday from the Kindle Store. It wouldn’t be much of a deal for anyone else; they would simply have to re-upload them to the KDP platform and wait 12 hours for the titles to reappear in the system. But it was a great deal for me, since, as many of you know, I live in the middle of a rainforest.
It meant I’d have to walk ten miles through wet jungle, bad muddy roads and a very hostile territory to nearest cybercafé to log into my KDP account, upload the books and wait. Since I don’t own a working computer, I have to rely on my trusty Internet-capable cell phone to do most of my online activities… but this one… uploading the files… isn’t one of them. There’s a compatibility issue between the cloud storage were I keep my latest updated files and the little accursed cell phone thingy. And the KDP platform isn’t exactly in love with my cell phone either. So, as it always happens in my Catch-22-ridden life, I couldn’t get to point B (or C or whatever) from where I was standing on…
Luckily, all the required files were up to date, so I was spared the 600-mile bus ride to my friend’s home to borrow his computer. Somewhere else in this blog, there are several posts about the tale concerning this odyssey, so it’s not worth the time to rehash it.
Of course, let’s skip the 10-mile-thru-hell walk I had to endure to reach the nearest town. Let’s just say I arrived in Caucagua wet, miserable and my boots were weighting ten extra pounds from all the clay that had stuck of them. I looked so bad by the time I got there, that they almost shooed me away from the cybercafé with a broom.
Well, I spent thirty minutes downloading the Word files (I didn’t bother to check for any inconsistencies in the cybercafé’s local PCs; their version of MS’s Word does… funny… things to the formatting and plays havoc on them) along with the covers and the necessary blurbs and stuff, sending to Aunt Ammy’s servers and such… all under the direct air blast of a wonky air conditioning unit, which seemed determined to turn the area where I was sitting into the local equivalent of the Artic Pole.
Since I was completely wet when I arrived to this place, I don’t need to tell you this isn’t really healthy. And by the time I finished with everything, it was 7 P.M. (Caucagua’s streets roll up at 5 PM; and they’re pitch dark by 6:15)… and it was raining again.
Well, I can only tell you I arrived home, with my hiking boots weighting twelve pounds and I was running a 102°F slow fever, along with the joys of a runny nose.
I’ll keep you posted about whether I manage to live through this one… I think I’m going to lay off for a while…