Today I got some e-mail from the maildrop service that deals with all my correspondence. For those not familiar with what this is, a maidrop service is just place with a bunch of mailboxes stuck together and the people working there handle all my incoming mail. It’s very convenient (and necessary) if you’re a stupid creep who can’t fix his life enough to escape the jungle. Especially when the local mailman is someone who can locate his place in the evolutionary scale somewhere in between the Pithecanthropus Erectus and the guy directly below the Neanderthals… and who’s more liable to eat the mailbag than deliver its contents.
Ok, back to the main topic. This e-mail informed me they were going to raise their monthly fee from $50 to $200. To my regret, it seems I’ll have to drop them, which is an outrageous overnight raise in prices and means I won’t be able to receive (or send, which was the most valuable part of the service) letters, packages and such anymore. And this is only the beginning. I heard rumors that the Internet Service Provider I use to connect with my cell phone is about to approve a similar raise in prices.
So, I’m foreseeing a future where I’ll be entirely disconnected from the outside world.
If you think I’m exaggerating, allow me to tell you that my total income from performing ground-keeping for my neighbors, scavenging aluminum can and a small investment fund are averaging around the figure of $200 each month… and I have to eat out from this sum.
I can hear some wise-asses out there who are willing to ask me if the sales of my books couldn’t cover this expense and remain connected to the world… well, let’s see… I’d need to sell about 750 ninety-nine cent books each month (at 22 cents a pop, according to my royalty statements) to achieve this miracle. Let’s forget the $2.99 ones… no one’s buying them, anyway… Now, let’s do a quick check… how many units did I sell last month?
5 copies sold. And 2 were returned at once.
Are we doing the math, already? Good…
Well, I guess that this is just the first step in my spiraling descent into total oblivion.
Have a nice Christmas, you all.